Why RecovrFit and my Gambling Recovery Story
For much of my life, gambling was a constant companion. It started innocently enough around the kitchen table as a kid but grew into a compulsive addiction by my late 20s. Gambling wasn’t always my sole focus at one point it was a casual hobby, with limits and was enjoyable. For over a decade, I was deeply rooted in fitness, working as a personal trainer helping clients achieve weight loss, build lean muscle, and tackle more ambitious goals like competing in marathons, triathlons, and Ironman competitions. Fitness was my passion, and I thrived in it.
Something happened after university and traveling, my casual gambling escalated to an obsession, I began to lose myself. Every day was consumed by studying poker and stocks. I thought this was normal and wasn’t gambling since they were both skilled endeavors that contained calculated risks, not gambling. At the same time, I was burning out from training others and had a waning interest in the gym and personal development. My focus on money led me away from passion and purpose and I pursued a career path in financial services and sales. I succeeded in my career but was never content and was always looking for a better income. On the surface everything was fine, but the underlying growing stress of my work environment, the mounting debts, and the gambling obsession led me down a dark path. I stopped working out, my work lunches turned into liquid lunches with clients almost daily, and my gambling demons, which were always lurking in the shadows, fully emerged.
The progressive nature of my addiction consumed me about 5 years later. Despite brief periods of abstinence lasting months or even a year, I always returned to gambling, and each time, I fell to deeper lows. I would try different recovery methods, on my own and in groups. Self-imposed timeouts or bans from casinos. They all ended the same way, with me returning to gambling and finding a new rock bottom.
It wasn’t until December 28, 2020, that I finally took control. Since that day, I’ve maintained the longest streak of sobriety in my life, thanks to the power of community, accountability, and Gamblers Anonymous (GA). I also have not had a drink for a year (01/01/2024). I never thought I had a drinking problem, but I stopped more so for marathon training – looking back I had some drinking issues and there are often many cross addictions with gamblers.
In my first major attempt at recovery in 2016, I tried GA, but the groups were large, I was younger, and I didn’t feel I fit in anywhere. I showed up, said some words, and never really got involved in the recovery process. Inevitably, I convinced myself that I could recover independently and that I didn’t need any support or a community – nothing was further from the truth. I returned to gambling after about 18 months of abstinence. We gamblers have a pretty messed up mind, where we can persuade ourselves to believe our own lies and BS. After some I was fortunate that COVID-19 hit us in 2020; I mean my gambling hit an all-time low and I was at rock bottom, but GA (Gamblers Anonymous) was still open, and it was a lifesaver for me. During COVID-19, we had small groups of people, which probably saved my life; there was nowhere to hide, we were held accountable, and every member had to be involved.
Beyond GA, fitness has become my anchor in recovery. After losing over 50 pounds through consistent running and exercise, I reignited my passion for health. It’s funny how habits can form. I first started running to lose weight and see if I could accomplish something specific that came up at a family dinner party. It was a weird goal, but it kept me motivated. I always hated running, I was always more of a weightlifter and trained for aesthetics, and at 220-240 lbs running was always hard on my body. The beauty of being a compulsive gambler is that I can become hyper-focused on a behavioral addiction, so for me, it was pretty easy to become obsessed with working out, running, and nutrition. In a weird way looking back, I think I used running to punish myself for gambling. Running became more than exercise, it became therapy. This past year, I completed my first three marathons and am now training toward qualifying for the Boston Marathon. This past year was a bit of a disappointment as far as my running goes since I didn’t qualify for Boston (I was 5-6 min too slow), but it just means the journey continues.
This personal transformation along with my desire to help others in their recovery journey inspired me to create RecovrFit, a supportive community for individuals battling gambling addiction. I struggled early in my recovery to find a support system that worked for me; GA and other support groups are great, but sitting in a group talking about feelings and emotions wasn’t quite for me and it might not be for you either. The thought of walking into a group meeting can be daunting for many and if you are looking for support but want your recovery to focus more on forming positive habits – you’ve found us. Whether you prefer the solidarity of meetings or want to channel your energy into physical recovery, RecovrFit is here for you. We’re not just a fitness group; we’re a family built on shared struggles and shared victories.
If you’re ready to take the first step toward reclaiming your life, let’s turn those setbacks into comebacks—together.
